dear mother,

For every fresh diaper you put on me only to have me pee in it before you even got it closed up...

For every time you looked up to see that it was 3:00 in the afternoon and thought to yourself, "did I ever eat/drink/go to the bathroom today?".

.....I thank you!

For every time I woke up crying just as you were drifting off to sleep...

...I thank you!

For every time you chatted up an old acquaintance in the supermarket only to look down and discover that your shirt was smeared with spit up, baby food, or worse...

...I thank you!

And for a thousand other moments of hassle, deprivation, and patience...

...I thank you, thank you, thank you!